Five Buckys

It was morning when I first held my baby.   It was morning when I first saw his face, First called him by name, First kissed his head, First told him I loved him.   It was morning when my baby first smiled at me. And even after long days and sleepless nights, It is morning that comes to rescue us. Our house brightens with the rise of the sun, All of yesterday’s woes are forgotten.  It is morning.

On New Year’s Eve, Jared and I talked about what we wanted for each other, for our family, and for our boy. "My goals for August this year are to be happy and enjoy being in our family." I said with determination. Jared put his arm around me and responded with a smile, “Oh, he’s nailing it.”  And see here? He is! Oh, this kid! Here’s to all the happy in 2013!

August, This moment during  bath time when y ou pushed away all of your toys, climbed in my lap, and fell asleep.  The moments when you are calm and let me hold you while you stroke my face gently with your chubby little palms.  When I am nursing you and you lift your arm up high to softly touch my hair.  When I pick you up and you grab both sides of my cheeks and kiss me square on the lips. These delicate moments of pure intention are my favorite. Thank you. I can not believe that I get to keep you.

It is 15 degrees outside. Fifteen, I tell ya! Not one snowflake in sight. Just cold, mad cold!  My Louisiana bones are just fine in this 70 degree apartment. August doesn’t seem to mind much either. Yesterday’s cabin fever taught him how to ‘crawl’! I say ‘crawl’ because it is pretty wonky and he is still figuring it out but it gets him from toy A to toy B. Needless to say, his new talent keeps us both busy.  That right arm, man. Today is another indoor day. But I trade in my  hurumph.  for a  huzzah!  well, because         Kid, you are my month of may!

"One thing about having a baby is that each step of the way you simply cannot imagine loving him any more than you already do, because you are bursting with love, loving as much as you are humanly capable of- and then you do, you love him even more." -Anne Lamott

Today is August’s half birthday!  Oh, boy! Enjoy this video montage of our last six months of complete bliss. I’ll just be here, holding back tears, watching my baby become a grown up. 

For putting on your cutest overalls and grabbing your best froggy toy and sitting frontsies in your new umbrella stroller.  Then heading on over to the local bookstore to watch Mama whisper-read a book to you with great exuberance, trying not to disturb other readers or look completely silly. Failing at both, I’m sure of it. Then having the Daddy one stroll you over to the local toy shop to show you a bunch of really awesome toys. Smile at him to let him know you appreciate his puppet-skills and also because he is a sweet man and just a darn cute daddy. And last, going all adorably bonkers over a furry little llama. To which the mama & daddy ones go berserk with the giggles and the camera.   And now you know.

Most nights Jared and I sit on the couch and talk each other off the cliff of running into August’s room to kiss him, hug him, just plain ol’ wake him up to see that million dollar smile just once more before the day is done. But last night, last night was different. After we kissed August and told him we loved him and goodnight, I smelled his head.  Oh that smell, he’s still got it. Does it ever go away? Don’t answer that.   I spent an entire 3 months of my life sniffing that boy’s head. But now he is growing up and wanting to explore. He has much more important things to do than just lay in his mother’s arms, being sniffed. Sigh. I quietly exited his room with a silly smile on my face and a love song in my head.  And as I helped Jared wash the dishes, I told him that I felt drunk. Drunk on the love of our son. To which he hugged me and kissed me and looked me in the eye and agreed.  So, last night there were no cliffs to be talked off of because our...

Along with welcoming in the new year, our family welcomed in the sick. Well, not so much welcomed it in, it just sort of slipped right on in after the ball dropped. It all started with the boys. The bearded one was all sprawled on the couch watching the History channel and drinking his weight in the purple frost Gatorade. (Gatorade, stop making any other flavor already!) The baby one was all hold me hold me put me down put me down hold me. And I was all: my immune system is awesome, I got this, moms don’t get sick, here let me make you another bowl of chicken noodle and here wipe your nose on my shirt.  That is until my immune system was all like being awesome is so last week . So today in our house the bearded boy is all better (yay!) and the baby boy is on the up&up! (yahoo!) And me, I’m pajama-ed all day, surrounded by crumpled tissues, and letting out the occasional dramatic gasp of air because I’m nothing if not a dramatic sick. And once the baby one is in bed...

Dear God, Thank you for giving us hearts with so much capacity for the joy, the merry, the happy, and the good. Amen.